Dick's, Deer Nuts, and Deez Nutz

After work on Friday, I stopped by the mall to get my quarterly, whether-I-need-it-or-not haircut. Not much to tell there, but afterwards, I stopped by the local Dick's Sporting Goods to browse.

(I still resent Dick's a little bit, since I thought Galyan's was better -- they were absorbed a few years back.)

While passing through the hunting supplies section, something caught my eye. Specifically, the deer attractants (bait, essentially) they had out.

Now, this isn't a screed against hunting or (sober, responsible) hunting culture. As a city slicker, I don't hunt, but I don't have a problem with those who do. It's more of a marketing screed, because the packaging is a pretty ridiculous.

Take, for example, Acorn RAGE, the angriest real-acorn animal attractant allowed by law:

Closely related is Acorn Frenzy, which is Acorn Rage's wacky, nutrageous brother:

I particularly liked the nutritional information: "High in protein (22%) and fat (15%)." I expected to see an FDA daily recommended allowances label on the back.

Then, there was the Block Topper, the "Candy Coating for Deer Salt." Which makes it the kettle corn, only for deer:

The pièce de la creme, though, had to be Deer Cane, which evidently used to be spelled "Deer Cain," but I guess they decided to go for, um, subtlety:

You can't see in my crappy cameraphone pic, but the graphic bug in the upper left says "Habit Forming."

And no, you don't lay it down in lines on the ground.

So, that's the Deer Nuts.

As to the Deez Nutz, here's a pic taken on the way home:

Tags: deez nutz, animal attractant, vanity plates